Sunday, May 17, 2015

Everything and nothing

This whole thing stops.

only when I'm walking
and see myself running
sound by sound
rhythm by rhythm
only when I'm smiling
but in fact no one sees
it's upside down
only when I look at life
through them-
people
buildings
sidewalk
cars
noises
and imagine everything
as my deepest fantasy
with you and me
hand in hand
soul in soul
in our own book
written, photographed
lived, loved, cried
in the amount of wrinkles on our face.

And that's where it all starts.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

How to not trust

It gets harder and harder to begin describing my thoughts these days. Perhaps because I'd like to forget about them for a while, because of the pressure they cause upon me. But eventually, it all bursts, and as we speak (or touch the keyboard in my case) words flow heavily like rocks on a mountain.
So people. What about them, right? There are certain periods of time when I'd just like to live in my bubble in which everyone is nice to each other and there is no harm in the world. But sometimes, these weird little creatures called people simply pop my happy bubble and bring me to square one: no trust. It's funny how we like to depend on them as much as possible so that we can blame them for our misery that we ourselves caused in the first place. We are the only ones responsible for our unhappiness. Be it caused by our high expectations or by simply dark, twisted and unreliable misfits. So when I realize that there actually exist these diabolic, frustrated people whose sole purpose is to bring a storm wherever they go, it is with sadness an
d melancholy that I sigh. Yes, that's right, I sigh. Because it's the only thing I can do. Besides learning the lessons I can from this story.
And that's how you get afraid of falling asleep because of the nightmares you might have. And also sick to the stomach. Literally.

Thursday, February 26, 2015

The battle for myself

There's always a battle inside
between who I am and who I want to become
because society
and money
and power

and thinking they all equal happiness
when actually only
you
and
me
equals everything we ever need

And no money
or house
or car
or computer
or clothes
...

can ever replace it

'Cause no money
or house
or car
make me scream
and shout
and shiver
and moan

Like you.

But sometimes-
just sometimes
there's this air
cold
and warm
and fresh
and hard-breathing
all-in-the-same-time-air
that chills me
when I breathe in
just when I truly breathe it in
cause that's when I know
who I truly am
with no other color
of anyone
because that's when I realize
it's always no one
but
Myself.

Saturday, February 14, 2015

That thing

your skin
smells like home
feels like home
your hands like they belong
on me

our bodies make sense
only when one
only when no one
is watching

my lips
feel lonely and frown
when you're not around
to complete the shape
and the air I breathe
that gets the blood
to that perfectly shaped
filled with ups and downs
trembling, beating, shivering
thing
named
Heart.

Monday, November 17, 2014

It all comes down to one word

That's the thing about bold decisions: they're frightening. Because you have no control. And that's when you know who you really are, how far you're willing to go for yourself or for the other, how much you're willing to risk for your own freedom. And that's exactly what makes them even more exciting: the fact that you're doing it! You have the courage to act for something you've wanted for such a long time now. You have the courage to go there and do what it takes for your future. For your freedom. For love. Because that's the key to everything we do, right? Now I get why they were saying that "love makes the world go round". You'd be willing to go ANYWHERE to find it, and if you've found it, you'd be willing to go anywhere to KEEP it.
But the more you think everything and the more things move forward, you're becoming scared. Of course it's scary. You're leaving things behind, people you care about, habits, comfort. But what we fail to anticipate sometimes is the feeling of the whole process itself. The way your heart beats when you find some new things about it, or how you feel like running really really fast and really really far so that you consume the energy you feel. The feeling of finally being free and finding YOUR PLACE. Your home. Your view. Your life as you want it. And you have time to build it as you want. Or at least that's what you're hoping for. So think about the courage that made you take this decision in the first place.
Think of the fire.

Think of the love you have to give and the love you have to receive. That's the full half of your life's cup.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Of masks and men

I stopped telling you
about these times you make me
cry
lie
and die inside
I'm keeping that inside
my little veins
keep swelling more
and more
with each tear
that dries on my cheeks.

I stopped showing you
my veins
my little swollen veins
and with each minute
another door closes
just like my heartbeat
carved upon my fragile skin

I stopped telling you
about these times you make me
want to hate
myself my face my every cell
for feeling
this
that
or anything else
that has a heart inside
'cause that's all I am in fact
and you fail to see.

I stopped because you didn't want to see me as I am
but as this pretending wall of strength and power. 

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Midnight Tale

And I'm in two dimensions
Parallel universes
With my feet on the ground
And my head up in the other ground
Where you'd love my both egos
Without prejudice
Nor doubt
Where I didn't have to choose
Between A or B
Rational or sentimental
Right or wrong
There's no middle way in our story, honey
It all happened
As it should have
In that place we know
In that look you gave me
In that story we're writing
Still.